after bath..9.03pm
friday...the same boring dayy
same as others days...everyday for me is the same..
after work then go makan then go back home...stay at home until 10.30 or 11.00 then go sleep...wake up 5.40am wash face..make up myself..then go work again..
everyday..same time wake up..same road driving..same colleagues..
i cant go out..parent dn let..everyday juz a prison for me..
everyday thinking how to cheat my parent to let me go out..but owes failed
wat to do??
last sat..so happy..i curi curi went out during my parent not around..
then after go out..dn feel like go back home..12 sth back...get scolded until...haizz
the next day is sunday..my off day..but then cant get out also..lock at my house..
i dn like stay at home nowaday..home for me juz a presure..its not warm anymore since my brother went off to another world..wat can i do? i donoe!!
this feel for me ..wan to go study faster..dn wan stay at my home..
but owes thinking about this..others thing come to mind again..
tat is i juz can leave my family like this..leave my parent and my little brother??three plp at a big house??!!
they will feel lonely..
today..a same day for me also..
but something happen to me...after back from makan after work..watch tv..
suddenly argue with dad loudly..i juz went in the room..
i dn care anything..of course my dad also dn care..coz he wont sayang back or wat de..since last time is like this..
crying in the room...
tat time i juz think after bath i juz wan to go out..go to yamcha..dn care them..
while i wan to take thing to bath..
i heard my mother crying loudly outside..after ten min..still crying..i din go out to see her..
i juz stay at my room..i lock the door..
then i juz keep my mind thinking other stuff.
after tat i heard my dad crying loudly also..i heard him use the hand to knock the wall and the floor loudly..i can heard the sound quite clear..but i really donoe how to do..
i should be go out to with them..but i dint..coz i donoe wat can i do..and wat i will do..
pressure pressure pressure stress stress stress..
then i start crying again..i cant get my breathe..nearly fainted..my grandma keep on knock the door..i juz dn open..i even scold her...i say i dn wan see anyone..get away..dn care me..first time saying this kind of thing to my family..
i wan get crazy..i am helpless..i am not the one i am..
i owes think tat i am the happiness gal in the world..i appreciate everything around me..everything!!
but devil come over my side..
i am really helpless..when i see my parent like tat..especially my dad..
i wan to get loss